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30-Jul-2017 12:21

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I am worried that he's not stable enough, though, and that the relationship won't stand a chance until he's really back on his feet (including finding a new job). I get the time has passed but your situation is interesting. One year sobriety in my book is strongly recommended. I mentioned this one evening as we were discussion his issues and recovery.If an addict cannot handle being sober for one year, I would fear for your physical safety and your sanity if you were dating him as caring for someone who continues to relapse is exhausting. I said to him that I didn't mind going through it as I came out of it as a stronger person. I recently met someone and it was going quite well.He's tried and failed over the past year to clean up on his own, and has checked himself into a 5-month rehab program (inpatient except on weekends) that does non stop therapy, alternative therapies, and exercise. I admire him for that and we have a good laugh and seen good together.I was hoping that after the program we could slowly start to date. The question is, I am on anti-depressants for when I was being bully at work.The thing with me and my past partner two years ago now was that he would make all these promises, assure me he would take his medication and get help and do better, but I never saw him making a genuine effort to get clean, at least while we were together. He now said he cannot date me as its part of his recovery program and I am on medication. I was honest about my past and shared I would have 9 years of recovery in January.If he had even gone to al anon meetings and tried hard with their programme, I would have stayed with him. We had only been on four casual dates so I had not shared the exact details of my past because they are painful and personal.

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If you move forward with the relationship, be aware of a few unique aspects of dating someone in recovery.

For instance, depending on the recovering addict’s particular needs, you may need to avoid drinking or using drugs around them or stop going to certain types of social events.

They may need to meet with a sponsor or attend support group meetings at inconvenient times and your support in encouraging them to do so is essential.

When you bring a recovering addict into your inner circle, their choices and lifestyle can have significant bearing not only on their health and well-being but also your own.

As a chronic brain disease, the threat of relapse is ever-present – an estimated 40 to 60 percent of addicts relapse – and watching someone you love spiral out of control can be one of the most horrific experiences of your life.Second, they should be actively working a program of recovery – attending meetings, volunteering, practicing self-care and so on – not just begrudgingly staying away from drugs and alcohol while addictive patterns fester.